That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
