if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
