Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
