So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
