STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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