There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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