Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
