Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
