in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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