I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
