I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
