yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
