i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
