Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
