You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
