I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
