i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
