I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
