the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
