What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
