White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Never joke about your clitoris.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
