How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
