This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
