You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
