Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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