A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize