david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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