As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
