Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
