Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
