For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
True strength comes from lack of pants
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