I think i peed on brittanys purse
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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