Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
