i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I enjoy the company of your penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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