In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
