Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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