You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
