Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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