something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
