is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
