two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
