What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
