Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
