It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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