I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
