Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
