STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
