Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
honey bunches of taint.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
