You can't motorboat a personality
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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