Got a toothbrush?
D3 body, D1 cock
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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