I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
