We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
