my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
