Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
