Plan B is the new Plan A
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
handjob tips. give me some.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
