Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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