oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
